HIDING IT FROM THE KIDS: PART 2

Trying to hide your secret WAM life from the kids while you are on the computer is a whole different scenario. It's like being a game show contestant – you have to have 'the fastest finger'!

You must first set everything up to cover yourself. I start with the alternate, 'innocent screen', which in my case is a realtor site. This helps to explain why I am on the computer for so long. Since I am 'looking for houses', I need to look at the media files of every single room of every single house that I view. Of course, I haven't found that perfect house yet which is why I am on the computer on a daily basis!

But I know that my kids aren't stupid, they have been Internet savvy for years. So I hide the tool bar as well…would hate for one of them to come next to me to ask me a question, glance at the bottom and see 'Ultimate Messy Direct…' I'm sure that they have tried to look on purpose before. I once heard my daughter say "You're always looking at that black and blue screen, Mom." It made me ask one of the moderators once if I was able to change the background colors from my end! No go. Guess I need to sharpen my reflexes a little more.

The main family computer is out of the question. Anyone can sit there and see what you are doing. I remember when my newly teen aged daughter first went on IM, I would sit on the other side of the room while she chatted. She thought that I was too far away from her to read her IM chats. Little did she know that while she was chatting with her friends, I was sitting innocently on the couch, facing her back, with my binoculars up to my face, reading every word! That's where I developed my quick reflexes! Bad mom! Well, I always told my kids that you never really know who is reading those conversations, and to chat with your friends like their parents are standing over their shoulder. She never knew that on her end it was me! I'm also proud to say that I never got caught!

That leaves the laptop and thank goodness for that. I don’t want to look too suspicious, so I move it around the house and try to be as visible as possible. You just can't be away in the bedroom with the door closed for long periods of time, especially during the day, without someone raising some questions. So I'll go in the bedroom for a while, or in the kitchen or in the corner of the living room where no can sit behind me with binoculars!

There are so many things that I need (have? want? wish?) to do on the computer to support this WAM lifestyle, like browse the different sites, chat in the UMD or on YIM... sometimes both, send pm's or emails, choose and post a picture or send a reply, even share a web cam. Then I have to put on my 'mom face' at home and multitask with the family.

...browsing on my computer
Door bursts open as my daughter walks in the room. "Mom, where are you?"
...innocent screen up
"Right here."
"What are you doing?" as she lays across the bed to talk.
"Oh just looking at houses again."
(My bad, lying to the kid.)
"Well I'm not worried about it; we're never going to move. You've been looking at houses forever."
(Well yes I have, and I've been a WAMMER forever too, you know...well then again, you don't know.)
"Well I'm going tanning, and then to Jessica's house for the night. Bye."
"OK, call me later, be careful driving."
She gets up, kisses her bad mom and leaves.
...screen down

'Knock knock', the door opens as my son comes in to talk.
(Well at least this one knocks.)
...screen up
"I was wondering if I could have (it’s never a loan) some money to go bowling with the guys? Then afterwards, we're going to stay over Tommy's house and play Guitar Hero. You don't have to drive this time (This time? It's usually every time.). We've got it all arranged."
"Take a ten from my wallet, and call me later when you get to his house."
"OK, thanks Mom, love you."
"Love you too honey. Have fun. Bye."
...screen down as he exits

"Hey Mom?"
...screen up
beep, beep, beep....the unique signature sound of an IM reply
I scurry to turn off the volume button (Whew that was close.)
"Yes, in here."
Son sits down on the chair next to me and lays his head back like he is going to take a nap.
(This might take a while, he is planting roots in that chair and I am right in the middle of something. Everyone's going to think I am rude for not responding.)
"What's up?"
"Nothing just tired. Not looking forward to the drive back to college. Got the car all packed. Thanks for doing my laundry and making all those extra meals for me to take back...I really do appreciate it...dorm food is terrible."
(See, I am a good mom!)
"No problem, honey. Maybe you should go lie on the couch in the other room and take a nap. I don't want you to drive back when you are tired."
"I'll be OK."
(They think they are infallible.)
"I'll probably be back in 2 weeks. I'm going to go. Tell everyone I said goodbye. Love you, Mom."
Stands up then leans over and gives his good mom a kiss and a hug.
(I swear he was trying to look for the toolbar.)
"I love you too. Call me when you get there and be careful."
Leaves the room.
...screen down

"Hey Mom, Mom!"
...screen up again
"What?"
"Mitchell asked me to spend the night at his house. Can I go?"
"Are you sure it's OK with his mother?"
"Yes, yes, she said it's fine."
"Well, I have to call her about something later (not WAM related of course) and I'll make sure that it is. Get your toothbrush and pillow. Are you going to sleep in your clothes again?"
"Yes, everybody does it. You don't wear pajamas at a friend's house."
(Growing up so quickly.)
"OK, have fun."
"Thanks, I love you."
"Me too."
Races out of the house.
...screen down

Wait a minute; there are no kids in the house! Quick, grab the shaving cream and the pie crusts. Get the camera. Time's a wasting!