Monday, May 26, 2008

PIEGIRLKAY TAKES A HOLIDAY

Even a piegirl needs a break!

Just enjoying the holiday chillin' with the family, playing Guitar Hero, roller blading, going to the movies...and pieing of course!

See ya next blog,

PGKay

Monday, May 19, 2008

TOUGH LESSONS

They met in a chat room and quickly became friends. There was an immediate connection, a certain cadence that was hard to describe. They were interested in the same things, the same fantasies too, but it was more than just that. They could talk with ease on a humorous and intellectual level yet still be flirtatious and playful. Their time spent together was intermittent at best, with a brief period when she had left and they had lost contact with each other. But she was back now, and it was almost as if they had never missed a beat.

Things moved quickly and they returned to their familiar ways. It was exciting, fresh and somehow new again. He had been asking her, as others had, for private pictures and webcams. Yet she had always been reluctant to break off that little piece of herself and offer it up. At times she would think, I walk around every day and hundreds of people see my face… what’s the harm in showing a picture to someone who I actually talk to and like? So she did.

She emailed him one of her favorite photos. And while she was in a different type of moment, not weak, but more sensual, she sent him an erotic picture of herself. He went wild with surprise and pleasure, and she could feel a special closeness growing between them. She loved how it made her feel and wanted to connect with him again.

A few days later, she went on line and he was there, but he was different. He was distant when responding to her questions, and even denied being preoccupied or evasive when she asked him about it. Then he said that he had to leave and he signed out. She was puzzled by his response to her; but she knew that she needed to let it go. There could be so many extraneous things going on in his life, she thought, she shouldn’t assume that he didn’t want to talk with her. She left him an offline message a few days later, asking if he was OK, hoping that they could talk soon…and she waited.

Soon they were back on track and everything appeared fine. She told him how she felt that night when it seemed like he was avoiding her, and he told her that it had been a bad time for him to talk. She said that they needed to communicate more openly about things like that, and he agreed and promised that he would. Then he asked her to have a naked webcam, but she said no.

While talking with him the following night, and feeling a special closeness, she told him what it felt like when she sent him the pictures of herself. It was something she had never done before, for anyone, and she still couldn’t believe that she did it. She had put herself out there; it was a new level of intimacy for her. Then she told him that she had a surprise for him. Sitting on her bed, topless, she turned on her webcam and reached for a can of shaving cream. It was a wonderful feeling, exciting and sexual…a new experience for her! She sprayed it all over her face and breasts and rubbed it around as he watched with enjoyment!

The next morning, she found him on line and he invited her to view his webcam, but suddenly, he shut it down and signed out. Then it started all over again. She left him an offline message asking what had happened. No response. She sent him another stating that she hoped that they could soon talk. No response. Finally she left him another message saying that she had some special pictures just for him, if he ever decided to contact her! And he finally replied, “OK…email em.” So she shot back a message and blasted him by suggesting that his response was less than acceptable. At least he could have said “Hey, how you doing?” or “Sorry I didn’t respond to your offline messages...had a bad week.” She would never treat anyone the way that he was treating her. What had she done wrong?

She was hurt and confused, so she wrote back and told him so. And she kept thinking about the webcam. She wasn’t regretting her decision to do it, and she didn’t feel used, just disappointed in herself for opening up her heart like that. It’s always been easy to reveal my feelings, she thought, but my heart…

He finally contacted her a week later. She apologized for shooting straight from the hip, but that was her, always her. She said that too many people try to hide their emotions and their lives move on without others really knowing how they feel…and that she never wanted to be that way. He told her that maybe they needed to learn to read each other’s moods better. Then she asked him what else was wrong. So he told her. She was coming on too strong…that it seemed like she was ‘going for broke’. She was confused. Hadn’t he been the one who asked her to send pictures, to join him in a webcam, and in the past, expressed an interest in meeting her in person for some messy role play?

Hadn’t they always talked about that special something between them? And then he said it…that he talked with a lot of people online, but to no one exclusively. She reeled from the blow as if she had been punched in the stomach. Righting herself and her thoughts, she apologized for spending so much time trying to sort it all out. Then he told her that the conversation was getting tedious. She became quiet, reflective and sad. I don’t understand, she thought, but if that’s how he feels, then there is nothing I can do. It’s his loss, it really is. And someday, when he finally realizes it, it will be too late. He will miss me, she said to herself, and I will miss him. So she told him that she would leave it all up to him…that the next move would be his…whenever he was ready. And he said OK. Then she said goodbye.

Slowly she took off her high heels, first one, then the other, then walked to the closet and placed them in the shoebox. She pulled down the straps of her lace body stocking and rolled the rest of it down towards the floor, gently kicking it into the corner. Grabbing her familiar soft t-shirt and a pair of clean panties, she returned to the bed and put them on. She unclipped the webcam from the top of the laptop and slowly wrapped the cord around her hand, then placed it back in the box, still lying in the bottom of the shopping bag. She shut down the computer and closed the lid.

Carefully she reached with her right hand and gently tugged at her left sleeve, removing her heart from its recent dwelling place. She looked at it, as it lay quietly in her hand, and squeezed it ever so gently, hoping to awaken it. It was alive, but would not stir. Slowly she placed it back inside her, in a place that it had never been before…a box, with a hinged lid, with tiny holes on top to allow it to breathe, but never to gulp fresh air…and a lock, to prevent it from ever going out into the sunlight to get burned.

Monday, May 12, 2008

(WAM) I-AM-BIC PENTAMETER

“Hi PieGirl, what’s up,
so glad I can greet you!”
“Hey yes, doin' fine,
it’s sure nice to meet you!”

“So do you have time now
to PM with me?”
“Oh yes, I would love to,
let’s talk now, I’m free.”

“You busy with some
in the main chat room too?”
“Yes I can talk there
and still chat here with you.”

“Where from, are you married
and how old are you?”
“Yes married, from Michigan
and 40’s, it’s true.”

“What WAM are you into
and what do you like?”
“I’m ‘PieGirl’ by trade
but all mess is all right.”

“And what about cyber,
you do that as well?”
“You bet that I do
and it’s sexy as Hell!”

“Are you sure, real sure
that your husband won’t mind?”
“He’s cool with that, yes,
he is one of a kind.”

“I’ve seen all the pics
that you post on the forum.”
“Thank you, glad to share,
I will keep posting more then.”

“Then how ‘bout a few,
will you send them to me?”
“I’m still a bit shy,
but maybe you’ll see.”

“Your face and your body
and naked ones too?”
“Well, face for right now
and that’s all that I’ll do.”

“And how ‘bout some web cams,
all naked and messed?”
“Well not right just yet,
have to trust you, I guess.”

“So meeting and messing
is out of the question?”
“Not really, it’s cool,
if I give the direction.”

“So crossing the line to have sex,
will that do?”
“Don’t push me, I’m married,
and happy, it’s true.”

“Your blog, I liked reading
the things that you said.”
“I love writing down
all the thoughts in my head!”

“So vid caps…does that mean
a film that you’ll share?”
“Not sure, if I do
then I’ll make you aware.”

“Well PieGirl, take care,
it was sure nice to chat!”
“Same here, see you later,
we’ll make sure of that!”

Monday, May 5, 2008

HIDING IT FROM THE KIDS: PART 2

Trying to hide your secret WAM life from the kids while you are on the computer is a whole different scenario. It's like being a game show contestant – you have to have 'the fastest finger'!

You must first set everything up to cover yourself. I start with the alternate, 'innocent screen', which in my case is a realtor site. This helps to explain why I am on the computer for so long. Since I am 'looking for houses', I need to look at the media files of every single room of every single house that I view. Of course, I haven't found that perfect house yet which is why I am on the computer on a daily basis!

But I know that my kids aren't stupid, they have been Internet savvy for years. So I hide the tool bar as well…would hate for one of them to come next to me to ask me a question, glance at the bottom and see 'Ultimate Messy Direct…' I'm sure that they have tried to look on purpose before. I once heard my daughter say "You're always looking at that black and blue screen, Mom." It made me ask one of the moderators once if I was able to change the background colors from my end! No go. Guess I need to sharpen my reflexes a little more.

The main family computer is out of the question. Anyone can sit there and see what you are doing. I remember when my newly teen aged daughter first went on IM, I would sit on the other side of the room while she chatted. She thought that I was too far away from her to read her IM chats. Little did she know that while she was chatting with her friends, I was sitting innocently on the couch, facing her back, with my binoculars up to my face, reading every word! That's where I developed my quick reflexes! Bad mom! Well, I always told my kids that you never really know who is reading those conversations, and to chat with your friends like their parents are standing over their shoulder. She never knew that on her end it was me! I'm also proud to say that I never got caught!

That leaves the laptop and thank goodness for that. I don’t want to look too suspicious, so I move it around the house and try to be as visible as possible. You just can't be away in the bedroom with the door closed for long periods of time, especially during the day, without someone raising some questions. So I'll go in the bedroom for a while, or in the kitchen or in the corner of the living room where no can sit behind me with binoculars!

There are so many things that I need (have? want? wish?) to do on the computer to support this WAM lifestyle, like browse the different sites, chat in the UMD or on YIM... sometimes both, send pm's or emails, choose and post a picture or send a reply, even share a web cam. Then I have to put on my 'mom face' at home and multitask with the family.

...browsing on my computer
Door bursts open as my daughter walks in the room. "Mom, where are you?"
...innocent screen up
"Right here."
"What are you doing?" as she lays across the bed to talk.
"Oh just looking at houses again."
(My bad, lying to the kid.)
"Well I'm not worried about it; we're never going to move. You've been looking at houses forever."
(Well yes I have, and I've been a WAMMER forever too, you know...well then again, you don't know.)
"Well I'm going tanning, and then to Jessica's house for the night. Bye."
"OK, call me later, be careful driving."
She gets up, kisses her bad mom and leaves.
...screen down

'Knock knock', the door opens as my son comes in to talk.
(Well at least this one knocks.)
...screen up
"I was wondering if I could have (it’s never a loan) some money to go bowling with the guys? Then afterwards, we're going to stay over Tommy's house and play Guitar Hero. You don't have to drive this time (This time? It's usually every time.). We've got it all arranged."
"Take a ten from my wallet, and call me later when you get to his house."
"OK, thanks Mom, love you."
"Love you too honey. Have fun. Bye."
...screen down as he exits

"Hey Mom?"
...screen up
beep, beep, beep....the unique signature sound of an IM reply
I scurry to turn off the volume button (Whew that was close.)
"Yes, in here."
Son sits down on the chair next to me and lays his head back like he is going to take a nap.
(This might take a while, he is planting roots in that chair and I am right in the middle of something. Everyone's going to think I am rude for not responding.)
"What's up?"
"Nothing just tired. Not looking forward to the drive back to college. Got the car all packed. Thanks for doing my laundry and making all those extra meals for me to take back...I really do appreciate it...dorm food is terrible."
(See, I am a good mom!)
"No problem, honey. Maybe you should go lie on the couch in the other room and take a nap. I don't want you to drive back when you are tired."
"I'll be OK."
(They think they are infallible.)
"I'll probably be back in 2 weeks. I'm going to go. Tell everyone I said goodbye. Love you, Mom."
Stands up then leans over and gives his good mom a kiss and a hug.
(I swear he was trying to look for the toolbar.)
"I love you too. Call me when you get there and be careful."
Leaves the room.
...screen down

"Hey Mom, Mom!"
...screen up again
"What?"
"Mitchell asked me to spend the night at his house. Can I go?"
"Are you sure it's OK with his mother?"
"Yes, yes, she said it's fine."
"Well, I have to call her about something later (not WAM related of course) and I'll make sure that it is. Get your toothbrush and pillow. Are you going to sleep in your clothes again?"
"Yes, everybody does it. You don't wear pajamas at a friend's house."
(Growing up so quickly.)
"OK, have fun."
"Thanks, I love you."
"Me too."
Races out of the house.
...screen down

Wait a minute; there are no kids in the house! Quick, grab the shaving cream and the pie crusts. Get the camera. Time's a wasting!