'A PIE FOR EVERY REPLY': PART 3

GATHERING THE SUPPLIES

The Pie Crusts

119 replies! That meant we were going to need 119 pie crusts, plus a few extra, to cover breakage or preparation 'oops'. I have to start by giving credit for some of the production costs to a little old lady I met at the dollar store a few months back. I was buying some graham cracker pie crusts and she was standing behind me in line. I think I had about 6 or 8 of them neatly stacked, along with a dozen cans of shaving cream in my basket. She looked in, then up at me and said, "You know, you can get those at Aldi's for 89 cents and sometimes they go on sale for 79 cents." I thought for a moment that she was referring to the shaving cream. I mean, like how could she miss all those cans in my basket? Then she said something about them tasting just as good as the ones at the grocery store. So I quickly deduced, with my quick thinking brain, that she was talking about the pie crusts. In fact, I was almost certain that she didn't eat shaving cream or would ever refer to it as tasty! Hmmm, I wonder when I am old, if someone will deduce that I don't eat shaving cream? Oh, how we tend to label others! I thanked her and said that I would have to check them out if I ever went to Aldi's. Well, thank you again, ma'am, because 119 times the 11 cents that I saved from what they would have cost at the dollar store, bought me more WAM supplies! How nice of you to support my habit!

So I made the trip to Aldi's a few days later to scout out these pie crusts. They must have been prepared for me, or maybe real bakers...there were 4 unopened boxes, each containing 24 pie crusts and some loose ones as well...priced at 89 cents. What a bargain! I went back the next day...should have dragged along the producer/director/pie thrower to assist me. Hmm, wonder if he set that all up? I grabbed the 4 boxes and went to stand in line. I figured that I would have to go to the other Aldi's to get the rest of the pie crusts...didn't want to look to conspicuous. There was one woman in line ahead of me with her daughter. There was only one checkout line open as well. Then, out of nowhere, about 5 people got in line...it was like one of those movies where they rush in from all different angles.

At first, the woman in front of me asked what I was doing with all the pie shells? This is before the rest of the store joined in behind me in line for a look. I had been contemplating what I would say, since I knew that someone might ask me this question. The only way to avoid curious questions would be if I bought crusts in increments of 10 or so, and my time was too precious for that. I wanted to blurt out, "Oh, I am going to get hit with 119 pies and post the pictures on an internet fetish site." Or I could have said that I lost a bet. But instead I decided to preserve a bit of the Piegirl's innocence!

I told this story about how we are having a bakeoff at work every Friday, where we take turns making different pies for sampling. Each week we have a dozen or so pies to taste. It takes us all summer to do it. My assignment was to buy all the pie crusts and distribute them to everybody who was taking part. I thought it was a pretty good story, then she asked me what kind of pie I was going to make? Uh, er, should I tell her shaving cream? Should I tell her that my pie only takes seconds to create and that I am a master at messy pie making? I told her that I hadn't decided yet. She told me to have fun (oh I will, believe me!) then she left and it was my turn. "I have 96 of these," I told the cashier. She smiled...I'm sure she knew the real score! Then as I glanced around, the man and lady behind me ask me what I was doing with all those pie crusts? So I lied again.


The Shaving Cream

Well I loaded the car, and what the heck, I was on a roll, so I stopped at the dollar store to buy some shaving cream. Now I knew that we had about 20 cans at home, so I decided to get 25 more and hey, I thought, let the other guy make a trip for supplies too! More silly questions at the dollar store. "Are you going to clean your carpets?" said this one middle aged woman. Then the checkout guy asked if I was going to 'shave close'? I must have paused for a second with my mouth open, then I just said "No". Man, I should have just told them the truth...couldn't be any more shocking than their questions. There was so much concern that I was going to have clean carpets or get a good shave, that they forgot to double bag my supplies. For a moment I was imagining 25 cans rolling down the parking lot with me running after them!


The Other Stuff

Artists' paper to write the names on, markers, tarps, duct tape, shower curtain liners (these are great, they work like tarps and you can get them at the dollar store too), kiddie pool ("Hey Mom, why did you buy a little pool, we're too old for that?"), buckets, tubs, batteries, lighter, cigar for Lenny, banana pie filling, cake batter and brownie batter, green food coloring, chocolate syrup, paint stir to attach to our drill, a few small cherry pies, maple syrup...oh, and then I hear..."I bought a real nice camera today and some editing software too, oh yeah, and a tripod." What? We still have to rent a hotel room for this shoot. This is starting to cost us...

END OF PART THREE...TO BE CONTINUED...